


...I Promise I'll Do Better

by Tortellini



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Abuse, Awkward Sexual Situations, Bar & Bat Mitzvah, Based on a Tumblr Post, Best Friends, Biphobia, Bisexual Richie Tozier, Canon Jewish Character, Child Abuse, Childhood Friends, Closeted, Closeted Character, Deleted Scenes, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Epic Friendship, Friendship, Gen, Homophobia, Horror, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Inspired By Tumblr, Jewish Character, Jewish Holidays, Judaism, M/M, Masturbation, Masturbation in Bathroom, Menstruation, Missing Scene, Monsters, Pennywise (IT) Being an Asshole, Pennywise (IT) is His Own Warning, Period-Typical Homophobia, Physical Abuse, Psychological Horror, Psychological Trauma, Religion, Religious Content, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Script References, Sexual Content, Wordcount: 100-500, Wordcount: 500-1.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 10:28:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13809303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tortellini/pseuds/Tortellini
Summary: Three times three different children are suddenly forced to grow up. Monsters are scary, yeah, but the scariest kinds of monsters are the people themselves.Oneshot





	...I Promise I'll Do Better

_You're a woman now._

Beverly Marsh grows up without a mother and she wonders if things would be different if it hadn't ended up that way. She wonders if her father would've ignored her body in favor of her mother's. And if not, she wonders if her mother would've done anything to stop him. She likes to think that she would've. She has no pictures of her--her father makes sure of that--so she just uses her imagination. 

The house is dark, musty, the wallpaper dry to the touch and peeling a little bit at the edges. Beverly's room hasn't changed since she was a little girl. She's allowed posters, a few stuffed animals, a vanity in the corner. It's her haven. It makes her smile. Sometimes smiling hurts. 

Her father's been asking her if she's bled yet. It scares her half to death. 

She wonders what he'll do when she really does become a woman. 

The evening of the day when she goes and buys sanitary pads at the drugstore, and when she sees a misfit group of boys trying to patch up Ben from Soc's bloody stomach--she thinks she hears something in the drain of the sink. Realistically, it's not possible of course. But she's young. She's not thinking like that.

It spikes her interest even more when the voices say the names of all those poor missing kids. 

But they don't stay talking. Before she can even do anything else, before she can even blink, there's  _blood_ coming out of the sink, drenching her face, her clothes, her short hair. She's screaming in terror, and it scares her even more when her father comes in and he can't see any of it. 

( _I worry about you, Bevvie. I worry a lot.)_

Because blood isn't her biggest fear. No, she considers herself tough. Her biggest fear is becoming a woman.

Losing whatever taped-together innocence she's managed to save.

* * *

_You're a man now._

The Temple is stuffy even with the windows open, and Stanley Uris feels his vision sliding in and out of focus. He's a scrawny boy of almost-thirteen, he's proud to say, and making his Bar Mitzvah is important to him. Especially because his father is his Rabbi. He's been studying the scripture for weeks now, but with everything that's been going on--especially with his best friend Bill's little brother going missing--he's been neglecting it a bit. And it shows. 

Rabbi Uris sighs as he listens to Stan stumble over his words. Hebrew is hard, for the record. 

"You're not studying, Stan."

Stan flushes with shame. "I'm sorry, sir."

"How do you think it's going to look when the Rabbi's own son doesn't know his own readings? Do you want to bring shame to your mother and I?"

"N-no, sir."

Rabbi Uris sighs again. Truthfully, he loves his son. He just expects more of him. 

Stan hesitantly meets his father's eyes. "May I go to the bathroom?"

He nods. "Be quick about it." 

Stanley hurries out from his father's eyes and into the cooler hallways of the temple. It's bigger than he remembers. He really has to pee. So when he peeks his head into a room and sees a  _mikveh,_ he knows it's wrong, but no one else is there.

Quietly, he unbuttons his pants and does his business. That's when he sees movement. 

The heat rushes so fast to Stan's face that he feels dizzy. He's humiliated and honestly scared. What if whoever saw him piss into a cleansing pool tells his father?

There's a woman. The only light--one lightbulb--flickers. She's naked. Stan's mouth is open in shock. 

"You like looking at my body?" the woman asks. Stan opens and closes his mouth wordlessly, panicked. She smiles. "It's okay. I won't tell." She looks down, down past her breasts, to the rest of her. "You want to see the rest of me?"

Her hand is under the water. Her face contorts in what he assumes is pleasure. She's touching herself. 

"I-I should probably be--"

"You’re going to be a _man_ soon, won’t you?" the woman doesn't break eye contact. Doesn't stop touching herself. "I’ll show you mine if you show me yours."

She starts to get out of the water. He glances down; her legs are full of sores, rotting, repulsive. 

"Come here Stanley," The woman who's not a woman, not a right woman, says. "Come float with me."

Just as she lunges, he runs. 

* * *

_So act like one._

Neibolt is terrifying and when Richie Tozier's separated from his friends, he feels even worse. It's a different kind of fear than the missing poster. That wasn't real, Big Bill says, and he trusts him. This though? Not having Bill in front of him, Eddie at his back--that's real. If something happened to one of them, any of them, then that'd be real. 

When he starts to hear screaming he panics. 

He's found Bill again, and the two of them stand shoulder to shoulder, going to open the doors. The open the one farthest to the left first 

( _Where's my shoe?)_

and after they stop screaming they open the right door. Thank god too. They need to make sure they're not too late. 

Stumbling down the stairs, Richie rushes into the kitchen, to see Eddie Kaspbrak with pink tear-stained cheeks, his arm bent way too far to one side. Richie knows Bill has to be right behind him, right? They'll just grab him and get out of here. They're going to be okay. They have to be. 

"Eds!" he rushes to his side, but even with him there, Eddie doesn't calm down. And that's just it. Richie doesn't know where the clown is. But he can't focus on that.

"M-my arm, I think it's--"

He grabs Eddie's good arm to pull him up, and Eddie latches onto him in his terror, at the same time yelling in pain. That's when he hears it. 

"...don't touch the other boys, Richie."

Richie feels his blood run hot in anger, and then cold realizing who it was. He turns, glasses sliding down his nose a little. 

The clown is unfurling itself from the fridge. What the fuck. _What the fuck._ It laughs a horrible laugh. Richie wonders if he's going to die.  

"Don't or they'll know your secret."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Imagine if the movie had been this mature (second and third scenes are from the discarded script). I had an idea to explore these three in particular (Stan being my favorite character) and how psychologically, It could've used some more things than just 'scary painting' and 'headless boy' (religious pressure, mental health, body image, self-worth). I'd like to do something similar for the other Losers too.


End file.
